Statetalia: State Powers
by Charm Caster1127
Summary: A parody of the Hetalia series staring America's States!
1. Episode 1

**So this is my new project! I'm basically going to follow the Hetalia series but with America's states as the main characters! The other countries might show up, but not often, assuming people want me to continue this. So, without further ado, here's Episode 1!**

* * *

New York stood up

"Dude I think the State Conference can convene! Solving all of today's problems by talking excessively!"

The 50 states (plus DC) were all sitting around a long table for the monthly state conference

"No matter how hard it seems, we can fix anything with enough meetings and photo ops. Feel free to speak honestly while protecting your chances for reelection!"

Delaware was fixing her hair while DC fidgeted in his chair

"I'll go first; about that whole using global warming to enslave humanity thing, I think we'll be ok if we genetically engineer a huge hero and have her protect the Earth! I give you the Superhero Globoman!" New York continued to talk

"I agree with New York." said Hawaii

Oregon growled "-Man up or I'll beat you with my peace prize!"

"There's no way some hero will help global warming or humanity's enslavement." Virginia said, her hair pulled back in a bun while she sat sipping a cup of Earl Gray tea.

Virginia kept talking. It's apparently about something in Louisiana being like a shower of spit. Seems legit.

"If Virginia and New York don't agree, how about I be superior by dissing them both!" Louisiana was walking over to Virginia as was New York

"Agincourt!"

"You wanna-be Frenchies love to hate on New York! Why not go back to making us cool mardi gras parades like you used to!"

"The Eastern states are so immature. I doubt they ever grow up!" California sighed "Maybe I can try appealing to the only organ of theirs that seems to work. Would you guys like to sample some Chinese tasty treats?" she offered

"I used to be an big and beautiful but now I have to deal with West!"

Virginia and Louisiana: We'll just get hungry again!

Florida spoke up "Hey! Why don't you say something, Alaska? They'll stop fighting if you go over and step in!"

"What? Why me? No thanks!"

"Ewe! Nevada looks like she's gonna vomit!" that was Rhode Island

"Besides, I want to see Nevada get in big trouble and come crawling to me for help!"

"I've got Las Vegas!" that would be Navada

"So? I've got Winstar!" and there's Oklahoma

"Then Utah will be right behind!"

Utah was crying at this point, looking like he was going to faint

"You're so tough, next you'll try to pick a fight with New Mexico!

"Do you have a little detachable head?"

"Stop there! If you get any closer to Kansas I'll get Lech Wałęsa and go all Solidarność on you!"

"SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE"

Georgia was sound asleep, as usual, with a half-eaten peach in her hand

"It's like a UFC in here! Hey, that sounds like KFC! Hungry, anyone?" New York was talking again.

Everyone else: (grunting and arguing. Like this! Eh. Ah. Eh eh! Uh. Ah. Eh. Ah.)

"Please everyone; calm down!" said Califonia

"Eh! Ah! Stop! Get your hands off me you frog!"

Wisconsin had had enough.

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!"

Virginia and Louisiana were startled out of their argument "Wisconsin!"

"We've called this conference to solve America's problems, not to fight about the problems of our past! And since I am the only state who seems to know how to run a meeting, we will follow my rules from here on out! Eight minutes each for speeches, no chit-chatting or side deals, and absolutely no going over the time limit! Now if you want to go, make sure you're prepared and raise your hand, but do so in a way that does not mock anyone else!

Nebraska raised her hand

"Wisconsin recognizes his friend Nebraska!"

"….PAAAAAAASTAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"NEBRASKA!"

* * *

(Opening sequence)

* * *

"It is said that long ago in this land, the founding fathers of America met together in a room together, never leaving until the sun had long set. One of them, Thomas Jefferson, wrote the Declaration of Independence, declaring the United States of America free from England's rule. It said;

"...We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.-That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, -That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness..."

America had it all: wealth, fame, and vast land. The country that had everything… one day just… split in half, the Union, and the Confederacy…"

* * *

[The time, was the American Civil War]

* * *

Pennsylvania sighed. "I'm supposed to be fighting a descendent of Virginia right now… but so far no such luck...how weird…"

"We crossed that border with no problem, didn't we, mein awesome birdie?"

A little yellow-white bird chirped and nestled into the red-eyed teens white hair.

"I'm so sorry the awesome me didn't share any of my wurst with you, Pennybird! The invasion was going so awesome I forgot about feeding mein awesome friend!"

[Wurst: A German sausage. It is said that originally this was made by nomads in western China and then was brought to Europe.]

Pennybird chirped

"Well you're right; I still shouldn't let my guard down. It's that totally un-awesome Virgina we're talking about; she must have some sort of plan…"

Pennsylvania gasped

Sitting there, in the middle of a forest, was an ominous crate of coal...

* * *

[To be continued! Maybe...]

* * *

Kids: Chibitejas!

Narrator: Is everyone listening? Once upon a time, in a house called the Spanish Empire…

Chibitejas: It's next to my big brother California's house!

Narrator: …the newborn Texas lived with various other countries.

*Texas, Florida, Mexico, California, and others laughing and having fun*

Narrator: But one day, Texas' grandfather took him away, and forced him to leave his home and friends.

Chibitejas: *cry*

Narrator: For a while, Texas spent his time riding horses learning to shoot with his unusual tomato-obsessed grandfather.

Chibitejas: Wah! Hehe!

Narrator: Texas had a natural affinity for the art of artillery, so his grandfather was delighted!

'It's fun to shoot! Somehow I feel so, wild!' thought Chibitejas 'I want to show my amazing horse skills to my big sister's Florida, and Mexico, and that other big brother whose name I don't know because I haven't met yet! I can't wait to see everyone!'

Narrator: Unfortunately, when he met them again…

"You must become part of the Spanish Empire with me!" yelled California

Mexico scoffed "Hermano? You're a twerp compared to me!"

"Uwawawawawa" cried Chibitejas

Narrator: …they had all become assholes.

"Stop! I want you to become part of the Spanish Empire! No! Please!"

"Waaaaah!"

* * *

(Marukaite Chikyuu: Pennsylvania)

Nebraska: "Draw a circle it's the earth, draw a circle it's the earth, Draw-"

"Hmm?"

Wisconsin: " - I am Wisconsin! Dr-"

"Ah! It's Wis!"

Hawaii: "- Could it be the earth? I'm Hawa-"

Louisiana: "- I am Louisiana! Draw a circle it's the earth-"

New York: "- eams are all supersized! New Yo-"

Virgina: "- Could it be the earth? I'm Virgi-"

"This kinda looks like fun! Okay, I'll try it too and see!"

"HERE I AM USA!

Draw a circle, it's the earth  
Draw a circle, it's the earth  
Everybody follow me,  
It's the awesome me!

"Iiiiyaahaaa~~"

Draw a circle, little bird  
When did it get there, little bird  
Chirping on my head,  
It's SOOO cute!

I draw the earth  
The awesome! Me!  
Whether you're sure or not,  
I'm Pennsylvania!

Ahhh, that little guy who's chirping,  
is the awesome Pennybird!  
The universe's here because I'm here!  
I'm Pennsylvania!

* * *

Pennsylvania: *uncertainty*

—Ominous Crate of Coal—


	2. Episode 2

**Wow you guys, just WOW! I posted this, went to bed and woke up with my phone and email exploded with alerts about you guys following and favoriting and reviewing! That was the BEST way to wake up and start my day! Thanks to all of you who Followed, Favorited, and Reviewed! You guys made me so happy I got the next chapter ready for you guys early!**

* * *

[The time was The American Civil War]

* * *

"I found myself… in what you'd call… a 'situation…'"

"Hmm… weird… looks like someone left the awesome me some coal-"

Suddenly, to Pennsylvania's surprise, the coal crate spoke

"Ah!"

"Augh!"

"Hello to you! I am the box of coal fairy! I come in peace! Let us be friends and play with each other!"

"The awesome me thinks someone is inside!"

"You're wrong! There's no one inside! DO NOT OPEN THE BOX!"

"Nnnnngh…. Verdammt, this is heavy…"

"Why are you ignoring me?! What point is it to try to see the box of coal fairy's guts?!"

*struggle grunts*

Something is caught in here Pennybird…!

*CRACK!* The crate opened and out popped a young blond haired boy, he looked about 5 years old, with bright green eyes and ridiculously big eye brows.

"Wah! I'm so sorry; you were right! I am not a box of coal fairy at all! It was all lies! Lies! LIES! Please don't shoot me; I'm too young to die, and what if I don't die but am just mortally wounded and forced to lie there in misery in a pool of my own blood?! I'm not part of the Confederacy! Promise! Please I'll do anything! Well, I mean within reason… I DON'T WANT TO DIEEEEEEE!

* * *

(Opening)

* * *

"I mean seriously, yes I'm a slave state but I don't want to leave the Union like big sister Virginia did! I even declared myself independent! The point is you don't want to shoot West Virginia! We're pathetic enough as it is! I apologize for the lying, and the boxing, and really I'm a good State! I swear! You're Pennsylvania, right?!

'Geez… is this the guy I'm supposed to be fighting? The awesome me heard mein Feind is the descendant of Virginia, and the awesome me is never wrong but…'

"I have relatives in King of Prussia! And...*talk talk talk talk*"

[Yes there is actually a city called 'King of Prussia' in Pennsylvania. Look it up if you don't believe me]

'Ugh… there's no way this whining little brat could be the same enemy… the awesome me wonders who he really is…'

West Virginia was still talking.

"Shut up! The awesome me is going to ask you a question. You wouldn't by any chance be related to Virginia, would you?"

"Wait, you're telling me you know Big Sister Virginia? What a turn of events! Especially for this poor coal miner!  
You had me completely fooled! I thought you were really mean and scary! So we can be friends, ok?"

"What kind of joke is this?! The awesome me is not amu-"

'Ah! Mein Gott this is a trap! He's pretending to be harmless in an attempt to catch the awesome me off guard! Sneaky bastard!'

"How fun to have a new friend!—Augh!"

"The awesome me will not be tricked! Go to hell, you coal loving trottel!"

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…. *whine cry whine*"

'At that moment, I never imagined the extent to which this encounter would change my awesome fate. Although I don't believe in such things. The awesome me makes his own fate.'

* * *

[To be continued]

* * *

Kids: Chibitejas!

Florida walked up to California, who was still chasing after little Texas

"Hey, you know what California? There are other people to chase around here besides Texas!"

"He chases me because I'm scared of him… I think..." Texas spoke up

"I would quit if you'd just come over to my place… so…!"

"But Grandpa told me that I'm not supposed to go…!" Texas fiddled with his belt

"Then I'll make you!"

California began to drag off Texas, who was starting to cry.

"DID YOU HEAR A WORD I SAID TO YOU!?" yelled Florida

"ROAAAAAAR!" (that's a battle cry)

"OOOOOAAAAH!" (that's also some sort of battle cry)

"Just ignore them." Said Mexico "You would like to have some churros, no?"

"Sì!"

Kids: How Texas became a victim of bullying!

Narrator: Around the time America won the war for independence, Texas, Florida, California (who at the time was a part of Mexico) and some other territories all lived under Spain's rule. In those days, Texas had everything: fertile soil, mild weather, and cheap land. It was a rather attractive place to live. People from Europe to America all came to Texas to start a new life. Naturally, the other countries started to get jealous.

In fact, many Americans actually resigned their American citizenship to move to Texas, it's one of the reasons the US was reluctant not only to send aid during the Texas Revolution, but also admitting Texas as as state. Though that was mainly about dept, relations with Mexico, and the whole slave or free state thing

To those sides, no land was a good a prey as Texas. France started the nasty trend by charging into Texas from Louisiana first. Then, other strong and incredibly rude countries invaded from the sea and tried to take pieces of Texas for themselves. Key word being tried. Obviously none of them hear the saying "Don't mess with Texas"

* * *

[And once again the time was the American Civil War]

* * *

'So I captured West Virginia, but the only thing I hear from him is the singing und the laughing und weird accents. It is driving the awesome me crazy! It's like he doesn't want to escape from me at all.'

"Why don't you try to escape?!"

"Why? As long as I'm with you, I get fed, Virginia can't try to take me, and nobody picks on me! I like being here!

"Nein that attitude is unacceptable! If you're a soldier, even if you're not, you're supposed to try very hard to escape captivity!"

West Virginia was sprawling out on the floor

"You're the most pathetic excuse for a state I've ever seen. Are you really sleeping right now?!"

Pennsylvania sighed and opened the door

"Hey, look at how the door just opened! You could totally run away if you wanted to!"

"Uhh…"

West Virginia slowly walked, more like dragged, himself out of the house

"Hello ladies! You are both so lovely!"

After 5 minutes of talking to random people, West Virginia came back into the house.

* * *

(Marukaite Chikyuu: West Virginia)

Hey, hey Papa! Can I have soda?  
Hey, hey Mama! Hey, hey Mama!  
The Brooke trout that I ate before,  
I cannot forget the taste!

Draw a circle, that's the Earth  
Look closely, that's the Earth  
Might it be that that's the Earth  
I'm West Virginia!

Ahhh, with the single swipe of charcoal,  
a wonderful world can be seen  
Where mountaineers are always free!  
West Virginia!

* * *

America was going over battle plans with the states that had stayed in the Union when a Union soldier walked in

"Hey, America, I have some terrible news! West Virginia has become a part of the Union! WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?!"

Kids: To be continued!

* * *

 **Fun facts! The state motto of West Virginia is 'Montani semper liberi - Mountaineers are always free' so I put that into the song because I thought it fit. Brooke Trout is the state fish, so that's the food, and instead of paint I did charcoal because West Virginia has a big mining industry, which is also the reason for the box of coal fairy.**

 **Also remember, West Virginia is practically a brand new state during the American Civil War, so that is why he appears younger than he will later on.**

 **As I forgot to mention it last chapter, a lot of the states are going to be based of of the ones in 9foxgirl's Provinces & States: You're Doomed!, but with my own twists and additions.**

 **Translations:**

 **German**

Verdammt - damn

Mein Feind - my enemy

(Feind is capitalized because all nouns are capitalized in German)

Mein Gott - My God

Trottel - fool/idiot

Nein - No

 **Spanish**

Sì - Yes (This is also true for Italian)


	3. Episode 3

**Well, I'm trying to be a little diverse on what states show up in the story, especially since Texas is going to be doing the Chibi Tejas thing almost every episode. That, and after reading 9foxgirl's Provinces & States: You're Doomed!, I have been wanting to write something with Wisconsin and Nebraska. But enough rambling, though I do ask you to read the AN at the bottom, anyway, here is episode 3!**

* * *

Kids: All about American Football!

"Hey Wisconsin, come listen; I wrote a song especially for you!"

"What? Even though I'm your rival? Ok, let me hear it…"

"Wisconsin! Wisconsin! Wisconsin is a really really nice place! Even though I'm your football rival you give me food, and it doesn't suck like Virginia's food! Sausages with cheeses always taste so good! It'd be heaven for a dog… yeah that's Wisconsin! Tell me, how is it that your team is so awesome? You're crushing me with your intimidation! My fragility causes me to openly weep out of fear… your quarterback terrifies me! Is it the norm to drink a barrel of beer and then bust it on somebody's head? Please don't come to my place in large mobs… Wisconsin tourists are scary! Even the cheerleaders from Wisconsin are more awesome than I am. Yahoo~!"

"NEBRASKA!"

* * *

[Opening]

* * *

(Minnesota: Hon! Honhonhonhonhon…)

Wisconsin growled "In my opinion, Minnesota really lost this years football tournament so they shouldn't be allowed to make us pay them so much money…!"

[Minnesota is asking a fancy price: Burning with a grudge towards Wisconsin, Minnesota made Wisconsin manufacture propaganda for her own football team!]

Clocks: Coo coo! Coo coo!

Paul Bunyan* Clock: Coo coo! Coo coo!

Clocks: Coo coo! Coo coo!

"Day after day, we're forced to make coo coo clocks among other stupid things!

(Paul Bunyan Clock: Coo coo!)

"Then we are forced to sell them, in our own stores!"

(Paul Bunyan Clock: Coo coo!)

"Duough! I feel like I'm going crazy! Well, at least I'm rid of Nebraska now… that's the only thing about all these reparations that makes it bearable."

(Paul Bunyan Clock: Coo coo!)

"He really was a strange state…"

(Paul Bunyan Clock: Coo coo!)

"I utterly refuse to be his babysitter anymore!"

(Paul Bunyan Clock: Coo coo!)

"Ja! This time that I've been able to spend by myself is supreme bliss!"

"Wisconsin! Can I have some cheese? Pleeeese?"

"DON'T COME BOTHERING ME ABOUT CHEESE! I CAN'T DO ANYTHING EXCEPT WORK ALL DAY TO PAY BACK MINNESOTA!"

"Wait! Please hear me out! We're WORSE off! Back home there's no cheese for my pasta! Even if I could get SOME cheese, even just a little bit! That's better than NOTHING! Please, you can find SOMETHING for me!

"Oh, Nebraska…"

~Dear big brother,

I started a job where I earn cheese at Wisconsin's house, and I get paid 1,000 cheese curds per day! I know, right!? But don't get excited, cause one block of cheese is 100,000 curds**, so Chicken Parmesan is like a month of work…~

* * *

[Time passed, and it was once again American Football season...]

* * *

Wisconsin Newspaper: The Wisconsin football team is unstoppable this season! They are blowing away their competitors! And at this rate it is only a matter of time before they become the #1 team!

Nebraska huffed "Grrr… I can't believe Mr. Wisconsin's team won again! It's like he's got a grudge against Minnesota!

Wisconsin showed one of his rare smiles "If my team can keep this up I'll have Minnesota making ME coo coo clocks in no time!"

* * *

[And the time was once again the American Civil War]

* * *

America was going over battle plans with the states that had stayed in the Union when a Union soldier walked in

"Ah, Mr. America, I have some terrible news! West Virginia wants to join the union! WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?!"

"Hey Pennsylvania! I pledge my undying support to your cause! We'll be best friends that—AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Penn," said America "can you handle this for me?"

"The awesome me will handle this, Valter"

"Virginia kicked my ass and sent me back here…!"

"Get away from here! The awesome me, I mean, the Union doesn't need your help!

West Virginia pouted "Come on, Mr. Pennsylvania, you can be my friend, can't you? We can be an alliance! I've always been bossed around by my sister Virginia since forever! You'll be my strong big brother! You can order me around and I'll disappoint you!"

"Ah…"

"When I'm near destruction you can swoop in and save me! And when you need cannon fodder I'll be there to march in and obey the chain of command!"

"Friends… that sounds… nice… Since I've never had friends, I'll most likely treat you badly, but someone has to take it… This could work… friends! Uh, we don't have to kiss, do we?"

"Nope! Unless you want to."

[In this way, the state of West Virginia was admitted into the Union. However…]

* * *

[Meanwhile, in the Future…]

"Wisconsin… thanks for the water! Now I can make pasta again!"

"Stop wasting water, Nebraska. I'm not sure if anyone would believe me that you died making pasta in the desert…"

[Wisconsin's stomachache just kept getting worse.]

* * *

Nebraska: Statetalia!

* * *

Hawaii turned around " Helro. I am very preased to meet you."

* * *

[Marukaite Chikyuu: Wisconsin]

Hey, hey Papa! Can I have a Schlitz?  
Hey, hey Mama! Hey, hey Mama!  
The Limburger that I ate before,  
I cannot forget the smell!

Draw a circle, that's the Earth  
Look closely, that's the Earth  
Might it be that that's the Earth  
I am Wisconsin!

Ahhh, with a single wheel of cheese,  
a wonderful world can be seen  
Where the accordion is the state instrument!  
On Wisconsin!

* * *

 *** The Minnesota team mascot is Paul Bunyan**

 **** I have no idea if that's true, I'm just making up numbers…**

* * *

 **Fun Fact Time!**

 **Schlitz, a type of beer also known as the "beer that made Milwaukee, Wisconsin famous,"**

 **The battle cry "On Wisconsin!" was first uttered at the Civil War Battle of Missionary Ridge by then-lieutenant Arthur MacArthur, Jr., whose future little boy Dougie would grow up to be five-star General Douglas MacArthur.**

 **Wisconsin produces more cheese than any other state in the nation. And no, this does not include those foam cheesehead hats worn by Packers fans.**

 **Chalet Cheese Cooperative in Monroe is one of only two U.S. companies still producing Limburger, the world's stinkiest cheese.**

 **Wisconsin is the only state to have the accordion as its state instrument It was also, until 2011, the only state to have the polka as its official dance, until bandwagon-hopping Pennsylvania also rolled out the barrel.**

 **For more cool facts about Wisconsin, check out this website, (remove the spaces!)**

 **www. Movoto guide /wi/wisconsin-facts/**

* * *

 **Translations:**

 **German**

Valter - Father

(Valter is capitalized because all nouns are capitalized in German)

 **Random**

Duough - just a random frustrated sound

* * *

 **I AM NOT TRYING TO TEASE THE PEOPLE FROM NEBRASKA! The role of the countries is going to be based off of the following things:**

 **\- State facts**

 **\- History**

 **\- Cities**

 **\- Immigrants**

 **\- And sports**

 **Let's take Italy for example, Texas was fought over a lot before it became an independent country, than latter on a state, so that fits well for the Chibitalia plot-line. Italy was split in half over what side to support during WW1, so West Virginia is good for that story-line. And lastly, after reading 9foxgirl's Provinces & States: You're Doomed!, I can't picture Wisconsin and Nebraska any other way. The fact that Wisconsin is famous for cheese, and that Nebraska is one of the top pasta consumers in the US was just icing on the cake, so to speak.**


	4. Episode 4

Kids: The League of Former Nations!

"こんにちは (Konnichiwa). I am Hawaii. I enjoy sensing the mood and refraining from speaking."

"It's true y'all!" yelled Texas, jumping up and down excitedly "Ok, so I brought someone who will be our new group member!"

"Do you speak of California? Alright; I am in agreement. Although I am curious…"

"Please, he was only a country, if you could call it that, for three weeks!" Vermont exclaimed

Texas felt a tug on his pant leg "Big Brother? Does that mean I wasn't a country?" the Republic of the Rio Grande looked up at him with wide hazel eyes

"Of course you were! They even teach about you in my schools!"

"Vermont! That ain't nice!"

"Oh shut up Confederacy!"

"He surely is not the obviously suspicious character over there, is he?"

(California: *laughing*)

(Girls around him: *making sigh noises*)

"I don't want to believe it either Hawaii, but… that's him…

"I was born in the middle of the Civil War, you idiot! I never chose to leave the Union!"

"Yeah right you southern bas- umph!"

"Improper! That sort of language will not be tolerated in my presence, aru!"

"Dude, Califonia, you sound like China!"

Cat: Meow!

* * *

(Opening)

* * *

Texas stood up "Alright everyone! I, the Former Republic and Current US State of Texas, call this meeting of the League of Former Nations to order!"

Texas sat back down "Our first order of business, we have a new member folks!"

"Hello, I'm Califonia, formerly known as Alta California, Baja California, The California Republic, The Great Republic of Rough and Ready, The Republic of Sonora, and a part of The First Mexican Empire. I have a huge economy, and I am well know for the diverse culture in my State. California is the most populated US state. Because of this, California is one of America's largest users of energy. However because of my high energy rates, conservation mandates, mild weather in the largest population centers and strong environmental movement, my _per capita_ energy use is one of the smallest of any U.S. state."

"Damn, that's impressive!"

SMACK!

"Improper, aru!"

* * *

California: Statalia!

* * *

"Howdy Hawaii. Do you think you could grow some fruit and make treats or smoothies out of it using those blueprints we had from the other day?

"Well, I think your design is much too big to do in my home. But please do not worry. We succeeded in miniaturizing it using technology."

"Na way!"

"We have twelve color random assortment of bottles and flavors, and we will release new additional colors to match each season. A popular voice actress will advertise it for us too."

"This is awesome, Hawaii! Florida will never see it come'n! "

* * *

Hawaii: Statalia!

* * *

"Ciao, Hawaii! Guess what I heard! Texas said you were good at miniaturizing things! Do you think you could shrink me too?"

"Apologies, Nebraska, but no, we are not currently accepting orders to miniaturize people."

"Please?"

"*Sigh*… Hawaiian people grow-a, not show-a."

"Whoa! What is this?! Stupendo! Amazing! HWOAAA!"

* * *

Kids: Chibicolonies!

Narrator: Oh no! I wonder what happened. Mr. America isn't his usual cheerful self!

Chibi Florida: Uncle America looks lonely… Uncle, what happened? What's wrong with you, uncle?

"Hey Florida. Let me give to you some advice. You should go do all of the things you desire as soon as possible."

"Eh… why do you say that?

"Don't worry. You will find out soon enough."

Narrator: In 1763, Spain traded Florida to the Kingdom of Great Britain for control of Havana, Cuba, which had been captured by the British during the Seven Years' War. It was part of a large expansion of British territory following the country's victory in the Seven Years' War. The British built good public roads and introduced the cultivation of sugarcane, indigo and fruits as well the export of lumber to the area and its settlers. As a result of these initiatives, northeastern Florida prospered economically in a way it never did under Spanish rule. When the Colonies declared independence, many Floridians condemned it. They had been almost unaffected (because East and West Florida were backwoods areas) by the Stamp Act Crisis of 1765, which led the 13 colonies to perceive a common interest threatened by Britain. The two Floridas remained loyal to Great Britain throughout the American Revolutionary War. However, Spain (participating indirectly in the war as an ally of France) captured Pensacola from the British in 1781. In 1783, the Treaty of Paris ended the Revolutionary War and returned all of Florida to Spanish control, but without specifying the boundaries. The Spanish wanted the expanded boundary, while the new United States demanded the old boundary at the 31st parallel north. In the Treaty of San Lorenzo of 1795, Spain recognized the 31st parallel as the boundary.

(Florida: *crying*)

"Alrighty. You belong to me, Britain, so suck it up. Your new job is going to be to serve me and do what I say; do you understand? Now then, I'll supervise all the industry and politics in your land. The only thing you have to do is loyally obey me without asking any questions. Do you have any questions for me?"

"Eh… just-a one… by any chance do you serve churros he-

"No we don't."

* * *

Florida: Statalia!

* * *

"This island state has become a great power in such a short amount of time. It's hard to think Hawaii was closed off to the world only 30 years ago. He's a little naïve, but he's hardworking, honest, and knows many different rice recipes! He senses the mood, and refrains from speaking! He's not half bad." mused Wisconsin

"I'll think about it. Perhaps next time. We shall see. I always say no. It's a quirk."

"His name is Hawaii. He's rather mysterious. And then there's that one. All he does is follow me around all the damn time."

(Nebraska: *laughing* Pasta~!)

"And then there's that one… and then there's that one…"

* * *

[To be continued… maybe…]

* * *

"Ciao, it's Italy! We were right in the middle of a meeting, when we appeared in some strange house with a bunch of kids! By we, I mean me, Germany, Japan, and the other countries! Wow! We were dragged into drama after drama! It was crazy! What's going to happen to us? Find out in the next episode of Statalia! Crying Out SOS at the Center of America! Hasta la pasta!

* * *

[Marukaite Chikyuu: Hawaii]

Aloha Papa, can I have coffee?  
Hey, hey Mama! Hey, hey Mama!  
That pineapple that I ate before,  
I just cannot forget the taste of it!

Draw a circle, that's the Earth  
Draw a circle, that's the Earth  
Draw a circle, that's the Earth  
My name is Hawaii!

Draw a circle, that's the Earth  
Look closely, that's the Earth  
Might it be that that's the Earth  
I'm the Hawaiian Islands!

Ahhh, with a single stroke of paint,  
a wonderful world can be seen!  
Ua Mau Ke Ea O Ka Aina I Ka Pono!  
In paradise!

* * *

 **Translations:**

 **こんにちは (Konnichiwa): Hello (Japanese)**

 **Stupendo: Superb, wonderful (Italian)**

 **Ua Mau Ke Ea O Ka Aina I Ka Pono: The life of the land is perpetuated in righteousness! (Hawaiian)**

 **Fun Facts!**

 **Hawaii is the only state that grows coffee.**

 **More than one-third of the world's commercial supply of pineapples comes from Hawaii.**

 **There are no racial or ethnic majorities in Hawaii. Everyone is a minority. Caucasians (Haoles) constitute about 34%; Japanese-American about 32%; Filipino-American about 16% and Chinese-American about 5%. It is very difficult to determine racial identification as most of the population has some mixture of ethnicities.**

 **First settled by Polynesians sailing from other Pacific islands between A.D. 300 and 600, Hawaii was visited in 1778 by British captain James Cook, who called the group the Sandwich Islands. Hawaii was a native kingdom throughout most of the 19th century, when the expansion of the sugar industry (pineapple came after 1898) meant increasing U.S. business and political involvement. In 1893, Queen Liliuokalani was deposed, and a year later the Republic of Hawaii was established with Sanford B. Dole as president. Following annexation (1898), Hawaii became a U.S. territory in 1900.**

 **U.S. President Barack Obama was born in Hawaii, and it was actually a big part of his campaign; some people didn't think he should be president because he wasn't born on the mainland (aka, all the states minus Hawaii and Alaska). So not only is he the first African American President, he is also the first president to be born off the US mainland.**


End file.
